**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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