its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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