You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
