Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
