We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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