I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
