i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
only if we run a train.
done.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
