Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
