I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize