i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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