I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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