apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
