you win again, gameday.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
