it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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