i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She even gives head with a lisp.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
