So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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