I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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