Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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