Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
