i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
