I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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