Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
