6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it hurts more in the daytime
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize