IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
