How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
