Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize