i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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