Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We are two peas in an std pod
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
