i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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