margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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