No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
