I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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