Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
