Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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