lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
