That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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