I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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