remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
