I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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