the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Vodka?
Forever.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
