Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
