let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
