never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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