I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
