Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
