ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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