Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Randomize