You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
