Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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