She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
