I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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