So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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