got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
