This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
