I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
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