The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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