You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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