dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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